You are Not a Prize

All women (pending they have good fathers) are taught that they are a prize to be won, and that they shouldn’t just “give up the good stuff” for a man.  We like to be treated well, wooed, all that good stuff.  So what happens when a guy feels that you are not a prize to be won?

An ex boyfriend and I were talking about a week ago and he asked what I had been up to over the weekend.  Joking around I said “oh the usual, meeting boys, making out.”  Sure, it wasn’t the nicest thing that I could have said, but his response stung even deeper.  He told me that if I will kiss a random guy on a Friday night then I am not a prize to be won.  This from a guy who shattered my heart and isn’t worthy of even speaking to me again.

It’s interesting how age changes the way you respond in a situation like this.  In my younger days I would have screamed at him and made a show of my emotion.  Instead, I responded that I am a prize to be won and that I was going to hang up the phone and never speak to him again.  He thought it was a joke, but I am quite serious.  In the past week he has tried multiple times to get in contact (including leaving a present in my front door).  My response is silence, because his actions are an oxymoron.  If I am not a prize to be won, then why is he trying to hard to win me back?

Happy Single Awareness Day!

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and I honestly think it is a bigger deal for single people than for couples.  Sure, I’ve had Valentine’s Days in the past where I am in a couple, and it’s been a nice night, but when you are single there is so much more pressure and anticipation. 

Take for example, CRAB.  She has been dating a guy for a couple of weeks and is now waiting to find out if they are going to spend v-day together.  Normally the two of them would hang out on a Saturday night, but because this Saturday happens to be v-day, it adds pressure to a new situation.  He hasn’t mentioned anything about the day, and in typical girl fashion, she isn’t going to suggest that they spend the holiday together. 

I, on the other hand, really like a guy that I would like to just hang out with on Saturday night, but will not even mention it to him for fear that he will think I want him to be my boyfriend.  Meanwhile, I just want to hang out, and maybe do some smooching. 

So, this year, I am referring to the dreaded Valentine’s Day as Single Awareness Day.  I am going to go out and celebrate being single…much like I do every other Saturday by dancing and drinking with my good girl friends and hoping that there are cute boys out and about, also celebrating being single.  Who needs one day when we have 52 weekends a year to celebrate our fabulousness?

Red Flag!

During a single gals dating life, she needs some really fabulous friends by her side.  Whether it is someone to call and gush to after a really good first date, or someone to complain to, single girls need each other.  We especially need good friends who can see clearly when we can’t, or just plain refuse to.

Red flags are those glaring signals that something is wrong, which tend to come in the form of a pit in your stomach, or an uncomfortable feeling that you just can’t shake.  And whether we like to admit it or not, most women are great at ignoring red flags for the sake of finding Mr. Right, or if not him, Mr. Right now.  We can’t help it, the prospect of love can make us blind.

During my ten plus years of dating, I’ve come to realize that it’s best to acknowledge red flags from the beginning and move on.  Although that is much easier said than done.  I suggest to all single girls that you clearly define for yourself what you cannot compromise on and stick to it.  For example, in an earlier post I wrote about opposites attracting, and at the time I truly believed that I could ignore the fact that the guy that I was dating did not believe in God.  However, this should have been a GIGANTIC red flag because of where I am with my faith.  Things didn’t work out with the guy, and a lot of it had to do with us having fights about religion.  HELLO….RED FLAG!

Dating should be like a sport.  You are on team “find a man” and the man is on team “find a woman” and you need a neutral party to throw a red flag when something is wrong with the game.  So ladies, find yourself a good friend, make sure she has your best interest at heart and definitely listen when she pulls you aside and says “RED FLAG!”…it’s for your own good.